My Speech

            My speech eek! I find speaking in public very nerve wracking, as I know many others do.  I did my speech on Anne Boleyn the 2nd wife to King Henry the VIII.  I feel overall I did a very good job. I used eye contact with my audience, I had as much as I could memorized, I tried to speak at a steady pace, loudly,clearly and tried not to fidget to much.                                                   

     I also was very organized and I worked hard on my research. I did orally site only one of my sources, so I could have done more. I believe I was adequately prepared. I had note cards which I studied and I would adjust them to make it sound and flow better. I also would practice my speech on my lunch breaks, at home, at night and whenever and where ever I could.    

      Somethings I could improve on would be adding more hand gestures or getting my audience involved. I was worried to try and use gestures because I sometimes over use my hands and it can be distracting. So I should try to work on this and find a happy medium. I should have sited more sources and I realize this now. I also could work getting my audience more involved to help keep them interested. I could have possibly tried standing because I choose to sit for my speech. I only did this because I felt it was more personable; being that I had a small group I was talking to. But standing may have also engaged my audience more, so this is something I can work on and try in the future. 

        Overall I believe I did well. But, I also learned a lot of what I can improve on and work at. This was a great experience for me and something I will definitely use in the future.

Effective Speakers vs. Ineffective Speakers

       Behaviors that I see exhibited by effective speakers would be that they look around the room. They make eye contact, and they're not always just looking down. Also that they speak loudly and clearly enough for everyone to her. They also try to involve their audience. Effective speakers try to get their interest and keep them intrigued. I like when they move around and use their bodies and hands to explain and act out what they are talking about. Some may not like gestures but I feel it keeps the audience’s attention and its more interesting to watch.

     Some behaviors that I've seen from ineffective speakers would be when someone speaks too softly and you cannot hear them. When the speaker doesn't make eye contact or rarely looks at the audience. I believe dress is important as well. If they look too sloppy and not put together it's hard to focus on what they are talking about or hard to take them seriously. Also if they are dressed to provocative or wacky colors etc. it can be distracting. If they never try to include or interact with the audience i think that isn't effective. When a person is not prepared, doesn’t stay on topic, or jumps around and looses their point, that is ineffective as well. The main thing is you need to intrigue your audience, make the audience think you have something that they really would like to know or need to know. Not just something they HAVE to listen too.

My speech on Anne Boleyn

          I have chosen to do my speech on Anne Boleyn. I choose her because I don't know much about her life as one of the Queens of England. I have heard some of the stories of her marriage to the infamous King Henry the VIII. But I really didn't know her as a person. I want to learn more of her life, her struggles and her impact on history.
   My Thesis statement is :   Although Anne Boleyn's life had meaning and other attributes; the most interesting parts of her life are the rumors and facts of her death.

My Participation in my Group

              In my group I feel that I participated and contributed many things. I set up the documents so we could post our papers. I keep everyone in the loop of this set up and tried to get them all on the document so they could post and change things. Some did, some did not. I also made sure that all the tasked assigned were completed correctly. Another group member and I really worked together on monitoring that the assignments were done and on time. There were a few things when we started the projects that the others missed. So I pointed out and supplied the documents that we needed to have to know what was expected.  But this was understandable, there was a lot of information in the folders so some things can get missed. 

           One thing I could improve on is taking more leadership. But in this project I felt we had one member that was a much better leader and had more assertive skill then I had. It's hard for me to call someone out if they are not doing the work. I usually just do the work myself instead of holding others accountable. The leader we chose was tactful and addressed if there was someone not contributing.  She made sure everyone was working and helping in the project. So, I could work on my leadership skills. I could try to improve them so in other cases I can take on that role. I feel I've learned how to be more assertive but yet not rude or demanding by talking with the leader we had. So I just need  to remember these skills when I have to be the leader in another situation.

    

Credible Source Of Research

  My group has decided to research the Blind Community. I have been searching many sites and articles for all the general information. My sub-topic that I will be focusing on the most is: The Historical Cultural/Conflict of the blind community. I have a found a great specific website that focuses on the history of the blind.                                      

 This website is: http://www.deafblindinfo.org/history/community It not only gives me the history but links other articles to refer too. This website noted all the best references for all the information I need. I will have no issues with finding the required 4 source citations if not more. I believe it’s a creditable source they have so many references and articles to back up their information and provide more. One of the thing I see on the website and I really want to talk and focus on would be the rights that were passed to help the blind. Another is the organizations that have been created to help this community excel.

      I am considered to be in the Generation Y group also known as the "Millennial".  I was Born  after 1982 and this is what puts me in that generation.
      Some of the key characteristics and beliefs/values of my generation would be that we are Tech-Savvy. We grew up with technology and use it often. We apply it in our jobs and daily life more the previous generation.  We prefer to communicate through texts and email. We are also classified as Family-Centric. We try to balance more of our work and life. Some believed this is a weakness that we lack commitment and value things different then it once was. Some believe we are  all about work and more about family.  Another characteristics we are know for as Achievement- Oriented. Which as i have read is kind of contrary to me. We are believed have been papered or coddled by our parents. They wanted us to not make the same mistakes as them. We are considers confident, ambitious and achievement-oriented.  We hey have high expectations of their employers, We like a challenge and are not afraid to stand up for what we believe even though other generations can perceive this as arrogance.  Generation Y wants our work to mean something and strive to have satisfaction. Even though we are also considered babied as i have heard, not only in articles but by my elders and in general conversation.
         I mostly identify with the Family-centered classification. I do value my job but I value my family more. It is more of a priority to me and something I value over my job. I feel that in life your money comes and goes. But your family can and you will never get them back. when you die you are your money doesnt' do with you. but your memories to other and your family doesn't live on. But this doesn't mean I don't value my job. I still am a very hard worker and take my career seriously. It's just if it came down to changing my job or moving for my family this would be what I would do for my family.
      What I do not really identify with is the part of my parents "coddling" to avoid me from making the mistakes of my parents. I have a strong work ethic have worked since I was 15 years old and I think this gives me an advantage. I have often heard my employers that they see a lot of examples of my generation who wanted everything right away. That the patent tried "protect" their children and gave them everything they wanted. This was in attempt to have them succeed later in life. I don't agree with this. I think you have to have to work hard and succeed you have to learn right a way. You don't learn by everything being giving to you. You need to learn the harder way to appreciate what you have. It's okay to help you children, just not make the assumption that they need to protect them for them to succeed. Hard work and ethics is what I  believe makes drive in a person and make them strive to succeed. 
        Some events that affected my generation's current beliefs and values are the changes in the economy. There have been more rough times and many changes. Not like the great depression at all but different then the Baby Boomers. We are learning we have to save more. People are living longer then they used to. We have to save more to assure we can afford the cost of living for when we are older. We realize now people are running out of money faster and the older generation my have a harder time now with going into homes and getting medicare. There is fear of not enough Social Security and forcing us to re-evaluate what we need to do to provide for ourselves and families in the future.
    All in all every generation is different. But I feel that your values you learned as you were raised is more influential and the others around us. Just because you are in a generation doesnt' mean you apply to all the standards. They never have for any generation they just assume the majority and that's what we are assumed to be.  But no one is every aspect of assumptions.

Skills for Groups

The Skills that I can offer my group include:

• Organizational Skills - I can help organize meetings or tasks and keeping papers and documents that we need organized.
• Leadership Skills - I can get everyone involved and will listen to everyone and get us all to work together.
• Dependability - I'm dependable I will always keep in contact with the group and make sure we stay on task and get assignments completed.

My Proposed Code of Conduct:

 If a group members are starting to argue and disagree I will try to step in and help cool down the situation. I will still make sure everyone is heard and gets the chance to express their opinion. Try to get everyone to at least try to be more open and give each other a chance to contribute. State if they are not wiling to work together we will have to address the situation.

My Conflict Rankings:

1. Compromise                
2. Competition     
3. Accommodate   
4. Collaborate
5. Avoidance

Conflicts

          One time I suppressed my feelings in a conflict with my boyfriend because as the argument was starting to get a little heated I realized I was not necessarily wrong; but going the wrong way about the situation. I needed to cool down. So technically, I didn’t suppress them right away but did so quickly after the comments were made. I believe this was a medium- intensity conflict where we both wanted to be right and win. This was privately and after the situation happened. The situation was I felt very strongly and hurt about the way my boyfriend’s mom was saying and treating me during a conversation with her. I needed to think about what and how I was saying things and possibly offending him. I realized he was getting very offended because I was cutting down his mother. I was very hurt and was saying how much she made me mad and always on me. But he started to side with her and I realized that I wasn’t going to convince him of my point. I apologized and said I shouldn’t have spoken about her that way.

The result of this was that deep down I was stewing about the situation and upset he didn’t see my point. I had realized that I should and could have gone about it a different way. But I didn’t bring it up again because I knew it was my fault for the way I confronted the situation.

        Going forward I learned to display more assertiveness when speaking of his mother or family.  I still needed to express my feelings otherwise I held them in and would blow up about the situation. But by being more assertive it helped us to communicate better with one another. I would get to say I how felt and was hurt, but I didn’t cut her down. By talking this way I realized my boyfriend was more open and understating to my feelings without him being offended thus we both got the results we wanted and where not be bitter with each other.

 

          A time when I didn’t stop and suppress my feelings was in a conflict with my friend’s boyfriend. He was also my friend.  I didn’t agree with the way he spoke and treated my friend. He called her stupid and said she always runs her mouth about things she doesn’t know.  It was very heated there was yelling involved.  We both felt strongly about our points. He felt it was his girlfriend and he could say what he wanted.  I got mad that not only he cut her down but that it was also in front of a group of our friends. Not that it would have been okay if he did it in private but that it was even more embarrassing for her.  We both were aggressive so it wasn’t solving the situation. I just felt someone needed to stand up for her. I didn’t back down because I didn’t believe he was right. It ended up I left the situation because there was no way either of us would win and he would not calm down.

        The conflict was never resolved and we don’t speak any more. I still keep in touch with my girlfriend and not him. But with her unfortunately its not the same. In hindsight I could have approached it in a different way and possibly addressed it privately not in front of the group. This may have turned out better and her boyfriend may have realized how hurtful he was to his girlfriend. But I think either way, with the type of person he was, he would have still been aggressive with me. I think it would have still ended the same way where we would no longer be friends.

Jilian Treasure's TED TALKS video

             I believe the main message of Julian Treasure's video is that people need to learn to listen and not just hear.  Really listening creates understanding. Without understanding there is miscommunication and this causes chaos in the world. It is not going to help any situation whether it is personal issues, communicating in your job, or communicating with issues worldwide. Also how listening should be talked about in schools because it is a skill that leads to the rest of learning.
        I agree with Julian, he studies listening and it's his life. Like he stated in the video he doesn't expect everyone  to be as extreme as he is but he wants us to walk away with more awareness of how we listen and how we can improve our listening. Also with the fact that we need to implement listening in our schools to teach children how to be a better listeners to be able to be better learners. This should be talked about before and during he learning process to help improve it. If we can get the kids to start with this the chances of it staying with them is much higher.
       The exercise I tried of Julian's was the one to sit 3 minutes in silence. It was weird at first I was just sitting in my living room, I started noticing  little sounds never really noticed. My fire place was on and the flame was clear and constant. I could hear a bird chirping out side that previously I didn't even hear or knew all morning it was out there. I realized after a while my mind started to wander and try to think and worry about things I need to get done. But I stopped and just told myself to stop thinking about other things and just be mindful and focus on just listening. Which was hard, my mind is always going a million miles a minute. But as it went on I found it relaxing and just to be quiet, not have background noise, and just be in the moment.
        I know I will use what I have learned in my everyday life. One thing I realised I do also from the learning plan videos is that in conversations while the other person is talking I'm thinking of my response and what I want to say when they are done. I need to stop this. I need to just give my full attention to the speaker, listen to everything, and let them finish. Then I can think of what I want to say after I have fully let them speak and express what they are thinking.  I know its not something that I automatically will do but it be something I have to work hard at. But I know its worth it to improve my own skills and make me a better listener.
     

Artifactual Communication

      Advertisement images want to create a direct point of their product and first impression. I chose an ad for Gucci Perfume to display this. This is a sexy sultry ad that shows a great example of artifactual communication. The seller is trying to create a feeling of sexiness, they want to catch your eye. The look of the woman is intense and sultry. In the description of the perfume it stated "A provocative and intense fragrance."
      The type of buyer they are trying to attract would be someone that is more risky or wanting to be more sexy. They want to make the buyer feel that if they buy the product they will have more spice in their life and feel sexy. I think it appeals to an age group of about 19 to 45, but not limited to that.
       I think this is targeted towards both men and women because they offer different scents  for each. The Artifactual communication is presented in a way for  men to think  they can get a sexy woman with this scent. For the woman they could have a sexy man and be the sexy woman. That is why they have both sexes in the ad. I think men focus more on the beautiful woman when seeing the ad; whereas women will focus on both. I believe this because women compare ourselves a lot to other women and we still want to see the sexy man. Of course this is just my opinion. The first thing I looked at was how gorgeous the woman was and I wanted to look like her. I've spoken to many women and they claim they compare themselves a lot to other women. I don't see this as much in men.
       So all in just a simple ad these emotions and assumptions are brought up. The intensity, her eyes, sexiness and lust making you want to have this product.
      
 


   

The Truth About Change

      For the assignment this week I read the article "The Truth About Change." I also skimmed through some of the other articles and I found all of them interesting . This one in particular focused and how language has been changing and evolving through out the years. Realizing how language is evolving throughout the spread of slang, they way it spreads, and the why vowels changing affects the way we speak made me interested.

                Something that I learned I didn't know before, was how changing language spread so fast. Its starts in heavily populated metropolitan areas and then spreads out farther and farther eventually to the rural areas. This makes sense because many things start in bigger cites or more populated areas but I just never really thought about it before. Something else I learned was that women often lead the way in the language change which also makes sense because women are always taking ha ha.

  Something I would like to learn more about would be how different social settings change how people speak . Research more about how people change the way they talk in different groups. People want to speak like their friends and acquaintances as the article explains. This makes sense because people want to be accepted in social groups and fit in. I think a study or experiment with putting a person in different groups and seeing how they change the way they speak to "fit in" would be interesting to see. We could purposely have very different ways the groups speak to study this. I really think this would be something interesting to study.

      I think I will use the information I took from this article in many ways. I'm sure during conversations I'll me more attuned to slang or words that are being used that previously were not common. I will notice more how others change the way they talk depending on who they are with and how those people talk. Also I think I will try to pronunciate more. I think this article made me realize how we can be changing languages just by the way we use our vowels and I just think pronunciation is something we all need to be trying to do. Communication is key in this world but as the article states language changing is inevitable and will always be evolving.

Stereotypes

    I would define the word stereotype as assuming something of a person and believing that person acts a certain way or is a specific type a person . Sometimes they are classified in a certain group or believed to be one way without really knowing them.
     One major stereotype of me is that I'm classified as a ditz.  Also that I'm ditzy because I'm Blondie.  Ok so I'm blonde. I always get told the blonde jokes. If I make a mistake it's because I'm blond. Mainly people are joking but it really can bother me sometimes. In a way some of the stereotype is true, I can be ditzy. I lose my train of thought or say something before really thinking about it. I can be a bit ditzy but no more than the other person.
     One thing that is completely untrue is that I'm ditzy because I'm blonde. Hair color cannot change or determine personality traits. I feel I'm really not that ditzy it's more of a joke that people like to say. As i said before i do lose my train of thought, or speak to fast. But mainly because IBM busy. I work a lot of hours, I'm always pushing myself and doing a million things at once. so i do forget where i put my keys, or pen and i talk too fast.  But I'm always working hard i give 110% at my job, I'm going back to school and I'm running a household.
     My stereotype is an example that shows how many people joke or judge others. The "blonde jokes" are universal and everyone knows them and everyone says them. It is a way to talk and joke and communicate with each other or have a common joke.
      But this and any stereotype can be harmful. Playful banter and jokes with friends is one thing but  judging someone right off the bat (which is usually when the stereotyping first begins) can really hurt someone. It can hurt their self esteem, break them down, and really have the believing the things you say about them. Low confidence is something no one needs or wants. Stereotyping them doesn't help this at all and you never know who you'll meet. That being said we all do stereotype. Maybe if we all can just step back and try not to stereotype as much.  We should give everyone a chance first and we will realize that stereotyping is not something that needs to done. It's best to find out who someone really is by finding out exactly that, who there are, not their stereotype.

Self Concept

       I am a dog lover. I feel it shows a softer side to me. All my friends family and co-workers know this. I love helping out and caring for animals; especially dogs. I feel like its one of my better qualities. I really want to help be a foster keeper to help the dogs that have been abused or in puppy mills or just mistreated in anyway. Right now I'm too busy and wouldn't be able to focus enough on the animals which wouldn't be fair to them. But it's one of my dreams and goals to do some day. Possibly when I'm older and done with schooling and if I have kids when they are a bit older and going to school. So I feel this is a good representation of me and my dreams.



Sadness.  I laugh a lot and make jokes but deep down I am very said. I try to stay positive and it's something I'm working on. It's hard for me to share this but I'm trying to open an area of the Johari Window. I suffer from depression. Sometimes it's bad and sometimes I'm okay. I'm working hard everyday though at it. I hide behind my jokes and smiles while at work or in front of my family. But there is this lingering weight on my shoulders, my body, and my mind. I just want to be happy and move past my sadness. Honestly it feels good to just get it out there and not be afraid to say how I really feel.

This course was a required course for my degree. I'm going for a Business Management Associates Degree. But even though it is required I'm hoping to learn how to communicate better in my job ( current and future) and also in my everyday life. I know this is an area I need to improve on. I'm a fast talker and and thinker I realize I need to slow down, stop,listen and focus more.

I feel intrigued most by noise communication. After looking through the chapter I feel this isn't one I would have considered or thought of. The way its presented seems interesting and the way its talked about makes me think of noise in a totally different way.

I think all of them will be useful. I think channels, feedback and effect will be most beneficial because I'm not as familiar with these types. I know anytime you are learning and advancing your communication it will be beneficial to your work, life, family and discussions. But applying the new learned skills is really the only way it will actually benefit you. This part can be tricky because you can fall back into your own ways and need to remind yourself of what you've learned to keep on track.